Why Women Drink: Modern Femininity and Alcohol

August is a special month on South Africa’s calendar, a time when our nation comes together to celebrate Women’s Month. It’s a time set aside as a tribute to the strength, resilience, and contributions of women throughout our history.

Yes, 9 August is Women’s Day, a day that highlights ongoing issues faced by women, including domestic violence, sexual harassment, unequal pay, and access to education for girls. It can be considered a call for continued support for women’s rights. On a more positive note, Women’s Day celebrates women, femininity, motherhood, sisterhood, and more. Women bring a unique, nurturing wisdom to the Earth and hold all living things in their palms.

In this context of celebrating the strength of women, I want to peep into the lives of women who drink. I want to know why women drink. I mean, I grew up with an alcoholic mother. My sister and I quit alcohol a decade ago, thanks to my mother’s emotional absenteeism and our innate need to break the cycle. And to this day, ironically, I am surrounded by women who drink.

It does not bother me anymore, I am free of that toxic substance, that toxic mentality, and all those false beliefs about alcohol. I did not want to be like my mom. I decided to stop doing what she had normalized in our family — drinking alcohol for every reason under the sun including because the sun is shining today! She preached that alcohol is the source of all happiness and fun. And we believed her!

But when I saw the truth, I stopped that habit and I found peace within. I don’t need to have fun outwardly like my parents always did because I have discovered my quiet inner child. I have fun inwardly. Maybe one day I will cause a furor with crazy laughter and singing and dancing from the rooftops but, right now, I just want to be that quiet girl next door.

On that note, why do women drink? The world is constantly changing and evolving and it’s packed with equally dynamic humans. Personal dreams and struggles play out daily in billions of lives in countries all over the globe! There is extreme poverty and extraordinary wealth and the millions of shades of grey in between. The question of why women drink is not simply about consuming alcohol itself, but also about the subtle tension between society’s norms, personal identity, and the invisible emotional landscapes.

Women’s Drinking in History

Traditionally, drinking was often seen as a masculine activity, with women relegated to the sidelines of such social rituals. However, the tides began to shift with the feminist movements of the 20th century as women fought for equality and their social behaviours evolved. Drinking alcohol became a symbol of freedom, a path to equality and independence — and showing men a trick or two.

More recently, alcohol is regarded as a social lubricant, the magic key to unlocking the doors of connection and companionship. For many women, drinking is interwoven with social activities such as brunch with friends, after-work cocktails, book clubs, or wine nights. Women then feel a sense of belonging, a break from the relentless pace of life, and a time to be free of restrictions. They see a glass of wine or a cocktail as an invitation to unwind, to share laughter, and to create memories.

On the other hand, still rivers run deep. Women of today often juggle myriad roles as professional colleagues, partners, mothers, friends, and daughters — each with its own set of expectations and pressures. It is not surprising therefore that stress and anxiety do enter the drama. For some women, alcohol offers a temporary respite, a momentary escape from the relentless expectations because it’s a way to take the edge off, to feel some sort of control in an often chaotic world. For other women, however, the alcohol becomes a force to contend with and the daily sipping may be hiding deeper issues, known or unknown.

Modern life is very challenging with umpteen pressures to be beautiful, successful, sociable, hardworking, the perfect mom and partner — and to keep up with all of the social media and avoid the issue of FOMO. Many women are prone to feelings of inadequacy, loneliness, or unacknowledged trauma. Drinking then becomes a coping mechanism, a way to numb the emotional pain that lies beneath the surface. To understand the bigger picture of why women drink it is essential to recognize this hidden pain.

Misleading Media and Marketing Messages

The media and marketing industries play a significant role in shaping the drinking habits of women. Misleading advertisements and popular brands often glamorize alcohol consumption, portraying it as an essential part of a sophisticated, fulfilled lifestyle. The social media epidemic has worsened the effect with cunning images of women enjoying their drinks in picturesque settings with friends and family. It also promotes drinking as OK and acceptable, the thing to do, so women feel ‘out’ if they are not drinking. Did you know that there is a stigma surrounding women who do NOT drink — society immediately judges these women as having a ‘problem’ with alcohol or as simply being boring! Did you ever?!

It is therefore understandable why women drink. But they certainly don’t need to! The issue requires a compassionate and innovative solution — we all need to look below the surface, encourage open conversations about the emotional and psychological aspects of drinking, and slowly break down the stigma in a non-judgmental way. Stress relief and social connection are crucial aspects of every woman’s life! Let’s now look closer at why women drink more in their midlife!

Why Women Drink More in Midlife

Midlife is typically a time of transformation and reflection, a time of physical and emotional changes that affect all women deeply and in zillions of different ways. For many women, midlife and menopause become underlined by increased drinking. That once casual glass of wine after work, while cooking, or with dinner can become a nightly ritual. Then the one glass becomes two, then three then a bottle, then 2 bottles. Many women will defend their drinking as a coping mechanism for the stresses, changes, and challenges that midlife brings. But why do women drink more in midlife?

• Hormones on the Rampage

Many women drink more in midlife due to fluctuating hormonal changes yet little do they realise that this just makes everything worse. Menopause and perimenopause bring about a tumultuous shift in hormone levels as variations in oestrogen and progesterone cause uncomfortable symptoms such as hot flashes, night sweats, mood swings, and sleep disturbances. Alcohol, with its sedative effects, may initially seem like a handy tool to alleviate these discomforts. A glass of wine might help take the edge off or assist in falling asleep, creating a potentially dangerous cycle of reliance.

• The Stressful Sandwich Generation

Midlife is often described as being part of the “sandwich generation” as many women find themselves caught as the filling between the two pieces of bread — caring for aging parents and supporting their children who are often in adolescence — all while managing careers and personal relationships. This balancing act can lead to heightened stress and emotional fatigue which alcohol can ‘fix’. What starts as a temporary escape can become regular drinking and women make fun of their predicaments on social media and at social outings.

• Social Dynamics and Cultural Expectations

Society plays a significant role in shaping drinking habits and in many cultures, alcohol consumption is synonymous with socializing, celebration, commiseration, and coping. During midlife, many women experience the departure of old friends and the arrival of new friends on new paths of self-discovery and knowing what they want from life. Wine nights, happy hours, book clubs, and social gatherings often involve alcohol, making it easy to integrate drinking into regular routines. And, again, the media and advertising campaigns normalize drinking and reinforce the idea that drinking is a typical, even glamorous, part of adult life.

• Emotional and Psychological Factors

Midlife can be a time of intense self-reflection and existential questioning as many women grapple with feelings of unfulfilled dreams, changing identities, and concerns about aging. This emotional landscape can be marked with peaks and valleys, floods and droughts and many women resort to a glass of wine, then another, and another. They like the numbing effects to blur feelings of inadequacy, loneliness, or anxiety. Little do they realize however that this temporary relief often worsens emotional struggles and creates a vicious cycle of dependence.

Midlife is not easy but why make it harder by blurring reality through the bottom of a wine glass? I say, educate yourself about menopause and midlife, get out those exercise tools and tips, and get outside to move and embrace the universe! Find healthier coping strategies to embrace this period with resilience and grace and find joy and fulfillment without false substances like wine! This brings me to the reasons why many women should NOT drink at all!

Why Women Should NOT Drink

It is sad but true but drinking alcohol does have profound and often dangerous impacts on women’s health and well-being. Say no to alcohol:

• Heightened Health Risks

Women’s bodies metabolize alcohol differently than men’s, often leading to more severe health consequences even with lower levels of consumption. Alcohol increases the risk of developing:

• Breast Cancer: Even moderate drinking can elevate this risk, making it a significant concern for women.
• Liver Disease: Alcohol-related liver damage, such as cirrhosis and hepatitis.
• Heart Health: Alcohol can raise blood pressure and increase the risk of heart disease.
• Reproductive and Sexual Health

Alcohol can lead to menstrual irregularities and fertility issues while drinking during pregnancy can cause fetal alcohol spectrum disorders (FASD), resulting in lifelong physical, behavioral, and cognitive impairments for the child.

• The Mental and Emotional Strain

Anxiety and Depression — Women are more likely to experience anxiety and depression, and alcohol can worsen these conditions, creating a vicious cycle of dependency and deteriorating mental health.

Cognitive Decline — Women, due to their typically lower body mass and different metabolisms, are more vulnerable to dementia caused by drinking.

• The Social and Personal Impact

Relationship Strains — Drinking leads to conflicts and emotional distress. It impairs judgment and lowers inhibitions, often resulting in regrettable decisions and actions that can harm personal and professional relationships.

Addiction and Dependence — Women are more likely to develop alcohol dependence faster than men, a phenomenon known as “telescoping.” This rapid progression from initial use to addiction can lead to severe personal and social consequences.

The Path to Healthier Choices

• Embracing Sobriety — Sobriety can lead to improved physical health, better mental clarity, and enhanced emotional stability. It allows women to face life’s challenges with a clear mind and a strong body.
• Finding Joy in Alternatives — Engaging in hobbies, physical activities, and social events that don’t center around drinking can provide genuine joy and satisfaction. Exploring new interests and building meaningful connections with others who share a sober lifestyle can be incredibly rewarding.
• Support Systems — From therapy and counseling to support groups like Alcoholics Anonymous, these resources provide the necessary tools and community support to navigate sobriety successfully.

Why women drink is a complex subject and why women drink more in midlife is even more intricate! I say, there is no need to drink at all! Embrace the change, make the change, and renew your commitment to YOU!